The Office Isn’t on Fire But Your Body Thinks It Might Be

It’s Monday morning.

You’re staring at your screen, heart racing, trying to finish a simple email. Or maybe you're in a meeting, and just as it's your turn to speak, your throat tightens and your mind goes blank.

You’ve done this a hundred times before. You know what you're doing. But somehow, your body doesn’t seem to care. It’s on high alert.

I’ve seen this over and over—both in my clients and in myself.

We often interpret these reactions as signs of weakness. Maybe we tell ourselves we need to be more confident, more disciplined, more resilient. But what if something else is going on?

What if your nervous system is trying to protect you?

Your Body Isn’t the Problem—It’s the Messenger

One of the most important turning points in my coaching practice came when I discovered Polyvagal Theory, a neuroscience framework developed by Dr. Stephen Porges. It completely changed the way I understand stress, performance and presence.

According to this theory, your nervous system is constantly scanning your environment, asking one core question: Am I safe?

This process happens beneath conscious thought. Before your mind has time to label what’s happening, your body has already made a decision—activate, withdraw, or engage.

And it doesn’t just respond to physical threats. It responds to tone of voice, social tension, ambiguous emails, Zoom or Teams silence or the pressure to always appear in control.

When it doesn’t feel safe, you may find yourself in one of three states:

• Fight or flight: You feel agitated, restless, reactive, or over-focused.

• Freeze or shutdown: You feel foggy, disconnected, or numb.

• Safe and social (ventral vagal): You feel grounded, curious, and able to engage meaningfully with others.

Most professionals I work with are stuck fluctuating between the first two—constantly pushing through stress without realizing their body is locked in a protective response.

What Polyvagal Coaching Offers

Polyvagal-informed coaching gives you a different way forward. Rather than trying to push through, we slow down and listen. We learn to recognize what state your nervous system is in—and how to shift it with care and intention.

This isn’t about “just breathing” or using positive affirmations to override discomfort. It’s about learning to work with your nervous system—not against it.

Together, we explore how to create a felt sense of safety. That might mean learning how to ground yourself before speaking in a high-stakes meeting. It might mean developing rituals to down-regulate after intense interactions. It might be as simple as noticing when your shoulders lift or your breath shortens—and responding with kindness rather than judgment.

Over time, this work builds a deeper kind of resilience—one that’s rooted not in effort but in trust.

Curious to Explore This Work?

If something in this resonates, I invite you to reach out. Whether you're navigating burnout, leading a team, transitioning careers or simply want to feel more grounded in your work—I offer coaching sessions through a nervous-system-informed lens.

It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering what’s possible when you’re no longer in survival mode.

Because when your nervous system feels safe, the rest of you can finally show up.